Word Police


I’m not going to say I am a grammar nazi or anything, but I have a small list of words (actually it’s quite lengthy, but I digress, and will share with you just the few I have heard in the last week) that when misused by others when they are speaking to me, cause me to fear for the future of mankind. And it also makes me want to punch them in their face.

I’m not talking about grammar or typos. Misspelled words don’t bother me either, as long as I get the idea of what they’re talking (or typing) about.

It’s  the complete and utter disregard for the words themselves that make me wonder where the hell these people went to school. Those words haven”t done anything to you. Why would you treat them like that?

Here is a sample  of the ones that make my eye twitch as I continue to pretend to listen to the speaker,  but  my attention has been stopped dead in it’s tracks.

‘A whole nother’.   I am not going to bother looking for a dictionary, because I paid attention in 3rd grade, and I know damn well ‘nother’ is not a word. It’s not even a root word because ‘a’ is neither a suffix nor a prefix. And I heard this in a commercial the other day. Someone paid for that commercial. Paid for someone to make them sound like idiots.

‘Anyways’.  It’s any way. Anyway. We don’t go this ways and that ways. And we don’t go anyways. Unless ‘ways’ is now a unit of measure, and we can go 6 ways to Sunday. I would actually rather hear them say ‘anyhoo’. Slang is preferable to butchering words any day.

‘Conversate’.  There are  actually a few songs in which this word is used. I can almost guarantee it’s simply because they needed something that rhymed with ‘hate’.  And I heard it again on TV yesterday. I understand that this has been added to the dictionary, but it’s still classified as slang.  This makes me sad.  I didn’t determinate to conversate about it for so long, but now I’m glad you can orientate  yourself to observate what I’m saying.

‘Irregardless.‘   Really? Why would you add another prefix to a word that already means what you want it to mean? You chose the right word, now instead of adding more shit to it, try adding some thoughts and more words to make yourself  clearly understood.

‘Chimbley’.   That, apparently, is the thing on the roof of your house which carries the smoke up and out from your fireplace.

“Worser’.  It can get worse. Or it can’t get worse. But I know for a fact it can’t get worser.

‘Drawlings’. Are these pictures that are hand drawn?  Or are they baby Drawls?  Or, perhaps they are drawings, an artists interpretation of something.    Y’all.

‘Fer Say’.    In itself,  it could be a way for  an idiot to say ‘for example’.  But if a person doesn’t speak Latin, then a person might be better off to say ‘for example’.

Mind you, I refuse to get into the whole ‘their’ , ‘there’  and ‘they’re’  thing, as well as the grammar wars. I am leaving that to the grumpy ‘commenters’   spread across the internet…they seem to be pretty much on top of that. For some it is their life. Making the world better one snide, haughty comment at a time.

My problem with misuse of words, or inserting a word into the middle of another word,  ‘a(whole)nother’   is that it makes the person speaking sound like a moron. And  suddenly,  (all of the sudden)   I  lose interest in whatever they’re talking about, because now my brain has screeched to a halt on whatever word they slaughtered.

And it’s sticking and repeating in my head, like a boogar on a CD, ‘ worser(tick)worser(tick)worser(tick)worser’.

And they are probably full of shit anyway.

But most of all, it makes me believe, deep down inside, that the world will, misused word by misused word, become the world Mike Judge envisioned…

And frankly, at this rate, I don’t think it’s going to take that long.

So please, for the benefit of all  mankind, try to talk more gooder.

11 responses »

  1. I HATE it when people say “irregardless,” too! I, too, want to punch them in their faces. If you ever get up the nerve (or for an instant lose restraint), will you punch them twice? Once for you, once for me. Thanks! 🙂

  2. Here’s another (I forgot about yesterday). When I was living in Texas I got a speeding ticket. I was told by just about every single native Texan I could just ask the judge for “deferred adjudification.” I even had one girl in my dorm argue with me (when she put it in writing) that it was in fact a word, she’d been saying it, after all, her entire life. Here’s how the conversation went:

    “Did your computer underline this word in a red squiggly line?”
    “Well, yes, so I just added it.”
    “OK. Well, while you’re at it, go add edumacation as well, because they are in the same word family and they’d probably appreciate being kept together.”

    Omigod again.

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