What the hell is the deal with groceries?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way forgiving manufacturers and grocers for socking it to me in the wallet because they have to pay more for gas. All of them slap a ‘surcharge’ on their deliveries to grocers, who in turn raises their prices to make up for it. No one slips me a little extra money for my ‘fuel surcharge’ when I fill up my car. And I am pretty sick of paying for their gas, and mine too.
I’m talking about manufacturers slapping me in the face when I walk into the store, and smacking me on the ass as I walk out 200 bucks poorer. All because of my stupid habit of eating.
However, this rant is about something more sinister, something sneaky they have been doing that most of us hadn’t noticed, and it’s been going on with alarming frequency- they are robbing me of my chocolate.
Oh, it all started innocently enough, gas prices went up, and of course so did the price of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I took it in stride, willing, of course, to pay a little extra to continue feeding my little habit. But this! This will not fly.
A few years ago, peanut butter cups went from the size of a Mason jar lid, to now, the size of a fifty cent piece. All the while, they are still overcharging for them.
But now you can buy Super Size Reeses!!! Hey, let’s face it, they’re the same damn size as the regular ones used to be. And the Reese’s minis? I’m pretty sure when they say mini, they might as well be talking about their ‘regular size’ cups now.
And why stop there? Anyone bought a roll of Pillsbury Crescent rolls lately? The damn things are bite size!! You would have to fold 4 of them together to get the size they show you in that big ol bread basket on TV commercials! Which is the equivalent of 3 bites anyway.
And how about Lenders Bagels? What a fabulous idea it was for them to start putting 5 bagels in a package, ripping you off for one, charging the same price and therefore they saved money! Well so did I. I quit buying them until they realized people don’t like it when you just come right out and rob them. Then, not long after that brilliant idea, they put the sixth bagel back in, and made a big deal out of it. ” SIX BAGELS!!!!!” Like they did us some kind of favor. All you did was give back what you stole, you want a damn commendation?
The girth of the cardboard roll that your toilet paper is wound onto has increased dramatically, while the amount of sheets per roll, as well as the width of the roll and paper itself has decreased substantially.
Your 16 ounces of Folgers coffee is now 11-11 1/2 ounces, but hey! Just make it weaker and it will make the same amount of pots!!! Who doesn’t like ‘love on the beach?’
Breyers ice cream went from a half gallon to 1.5 quarts, so now one of your kids doesn’t get a bowl of ice cream for a snack, but that’s your problem! Buy two!! You love your kids don’t you!?!
Cans of tuna used to weigh in at a standard 7 ounces, but apparently because the little fishy bastards can swim faster now and are harder to catch, (and fish is actually healthier for you to eat than red meat,) it weighs in now at 5 ounces. And it costs way more. Before the Great Greed, you could add salad dressing and maybe a few onions or celery and stretch that into two sandwiches. Now if you want two, you will be eating a vegetable and salad dressing sandwich with hints of tuna.
A box of Kraft Mac and Cheese used to feed 2 kids, but now, unless you have extremely small, light eaters, you better open 2 boxes. At 7.25 oz each, there’s no doubt that mom won’t be finishing the kids leftovers either. And I’m not talking about the fun Sponge Bob shaped boxes. Those are 2 ounces less than the regular box.
There is arsenic in your juice. You probably knew that. But don’t you just LOVE that it’s an ‘acceptable level for human consumption?’ Don’t you feel safer just knowing that the government gets to decide what an acceptable level is?
There’s pink slime in your meat. But that’s okay too, because the government has also decided that the way it is prepared is ok for humans to consume. As opposed to being sold off to be used as filler or base for dog food.
From ABC News: The “pink slime” is made by gathering waste trimmings, simmering them at low heat so the fat separates easily from the muscle, and spinning the trimmings using a centrifuge to complete the separation. Next, the mixture is sent through pipes where it is sprayed with ammonia gas to kill bacteria. The process is completed by packaging the meat into bricks. Then, it is frozen and shipped to grocery stores and meat packers, where it is added to most ground beef.
Any part of a cow can be considered ‘beef’, can’t it though? Any part. MMMMMMMMM!! YUMMY!!!
Were any of these companies in financial trouble when they started this shit? No. They just figured since a few others got away with changing their package sizes while giving you less product, they might as well jump on the bandwagon and ride along. Those CEOs really do have a hard time trying to figure out how they’re going to pay the light bill and buy their kids shoes. (sniff, tears)
And these companies are just the tip of the iceberg.
Good God, I don’t know about you, but I feel so safe with my government in charge. And I think I will fire up the grill and cook some…vegetables. And have a Reese’s Peanut Butter Bite.
And just in case you think I’m crazier than I actually am: