I just read a great post about assholes and their religion pushing, baby waking ways. You can find it here –
http://thediaryofareluctantmother.com/2012/04/04/when-religion-comes-calling/#comment-254
I shared this story with the awesome blogger, and thought I would share it with you. It is merely one of the many instances that make up the story of my life, and most likely contribute to my fairly piss poor attitude toward stupid people.
This a true story, I swear to God you can’t make this shit up.
I was once awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a woman who pulled into my driveway, and beat on my door, assuming the dogs running around in the road in front of my house were my dogs. I went to the door and politely let her know they were not my dogs. Then she decided she knew whose dogs they were and demanded that I put them in my car and take them to their owners. Still in my pajamas because the silly bitch just woke me up, I told her to put them in her own car and deliver them if she was so worried about it. She jumped up and down (I’m not joking) stomped her feet and screamed ‘Come ON!!! Be A CHRISTIAN!!!!!” And I replied, “YOU be a fking Christian” and I slammed the door in her face. If that’s how Christians act, I’ll continue on with my lapsed Catholic ways, and stay home from church, thanks. (and to be fair, Mr. Jackass let his dogs out all the time without watching them, they never got ran over, ran the neighborhood as they pleased, taking a crap wherever it suited them and trash can diving with reckless abandon, so there’s another asshole involved in this story. 4 more if you count the dogs too, but I’m pretty sure you have to train a dog to be an asshole.)
Her implication was clearly that Jewish people hate dogs.
My dog is Jewish, so it’s actually a living hell for him. But he gets by.
At least you know. My dog has been trying to explain his religion to me for years but I don’t get it. Probably because my dog only speaks in Slavic dialects.
Thanks for the link back! Does the neighbor still allow his dogs to run all over the place like the Bumpus Hounds?
You bet, I loved your post! I don’t know, I moved, but I’m pretty sure they’re still kicking, they were smart enough never to get caught or run over. Sons a Bitchin Bumpusses!!!
A yes a good “Christian” who is intolerant of other people’s beliefs and actions. Lots of comic fodder there for sure.
Absolutely. ‘I believe, therefore, you should. And if I can’t convince you with Gods forgiveness of your foolish and selfish ways, then I will beat the shit out of your dumb ass with my bible.’
Tag, you’re it! Somehow, I ended up in a game of tag and I’m now tagging you! Here is the link with the rules and the one question I picked out for you to answer… 🙂
My dog too 😉
lol
I was going to say something else, but there wasn’t anything else. I just laugh at people like this, because I’m afraid I might start shooting if I don’t…
I’m glad you understand my frustration. If only they realized how hypocritical they are just in action alone.
If someone woke me up over an f-ing dog, they would be facing the death penalty! Rule #1 in my house…do not wake me up!!!
Oh my Gawd, me too! Nothing worse than being roused out of a sound (and well deserved) sleep to a crazy bitch jumping up and down on your porch!
I like when they knock on my door to pander their religion. I flipped out on them last time. I didn’t have my new iPhone so I was unable to put hat shit on YouTube. I’ve hoped they come knocking again so I can open the door in underwear and explain that I don’t go to their homes telling them what type of porn to watch so they shouldn’t knock on my door either. I think the word got out, though. They leave me alone, sadly.
If you do, please take the vacuum cleaner with you to the door and talk like Doofie.
LMAO You wait. If they ever drop by, there will be video. I think they black listed me.
On one hand, I totally agree this lady was a complete asshat. And if she had a car, I do not see why *you* had to bring the little tikes back home. And spouting christianity is just ignorant and worth all sorts of nasty names.
On the other hand, I know first hand how dogs can get out of control–we had a fenced yard within ANOTHER fence when I was a kid–and our dog (Oreo) would still get out. In one afternoon she chewed out of the garage door to the fenced yard, dug a six foot hole under the wood fence that was her play area and jumped over the metal fence we had surrounding that. It couldn’t have been three hours. Apparently, dog food in the 80’s was laced with crack. So I have a little more sympathy for dogs getting loose…I bet I’ll write a post about this somehow…
Agreed! I know some dogs act like they’re constantly breaking out of prison!
God, this made me laugh. I read it to my husband, and it made him laugh. I read it to my dog, and he didn’t think it was too funny, but he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.
I would sort of love being that crazy– jumping up and down screaming on a stranger’s doorstep crazy. I could probably get disability for it.
Glad I made my way here. I’m an official follower now.
Glad you like it! There’s no shortage of dumb shit that happens to me as a testimonial to the stupidity of (some) of the human race 🙂
I shit you not….have had the exact same thing happen to me. I discovered that I’m not very Christian either. Who the hell is this woman?
If she’s married, I feel sorry for her husband.
Laughing, loving every word!
Thanks! This kind of thing happens to me all the time!
It doesn’t surprise me a bit. I suspect you have certain magnetic qualities that attract these sorts of people, animals, and incidents.
Seriously, I live my life quietly, I pay my taxes, I am kind to people and animals, and I never break the law. Never even a speeding ticket or insurance claim. And yet, wherever I go, these idiots find me. It’s uncanny.
I, too, am an idiot magnet. I feel your pain.