‘Christians’ and dogs


I just read a great post about assholes and their religion pushing, baby waking ways. You can find it here –


I shared this story with the awesome blogger, and thought I would share it with you.  It is merely one of the  many instances that make up the story of my life, and most likely contribute to my fairly piss poor attitude toward stupid people.

This a true story, I swear to God you can’t make this shit up.

I was once awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a woman who pulled into my driveway, and beat on my door, assuming the dogs running around in the road in front of my house were my dogs. I went to the door and politely let her know they were not my dogs. Then she decided she knew whose dogs they were and demanded that I put them in my car and take them to their owners.  Still in my pajamas because the silly bitch just woke me up,  I  told her to put them in her own car and deliver them if she was so worried about it.  She jumped up and down (I’m not joking) stomped her feet and screamed ‘Come ON!!! Be A CHRISTIAN!!!!!” And I replied, “YOU be a fking Christian” and I slammed the door in her face. If that’s how Christians act, I’ll continue on with my lapsed Catholic ways, and stay home from church, thanks. (and to be fair, Mr. Jackass let his dogs out all the time without watching them, they never got ran over, ran the neighborhood as they pleased, taking a crap wherever it suited them and trash can diving with reckless abandon,  so there’s another asshole  involved in this story. 4 more if you count the dogs too, but I’m pretty sure you have to train a dog to be an asshole.)

   I am assuming that this lovely lady saw the dogs in the road, and decided to exercise her ‘christian-ness’ by pulling in and  being a complete asshole when she came to understand that they weren’t mine and I wasn’t going to do anything to further her new agenda. She proceeded to climb up on a pedestal of holiness (because she was demanding that I ‘do the right thing’) and spew her ‘righteous anger’ at me because I refused to ‘do the right thing’ , the thing that was right in HER book.
The thing that was right in my book is the dumbass who let his dogs run free like horses from a burning barn should have come to get them. Or, I’ll do ya one better. He should have tied the damn things up if they were going to run all over hell again, a fact I’m sure he was well aware of when he opened the door to let them out. However, I never felt the need to go to his door in the early morning hours and stomp my feet and scream at him to ‘Come ON!!!    BE A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER!!!’
I have a big dog. I have taught him to stay in my yard. He is a good dog, because I accepted the responsibility to be a  dog owner, and train him in acceptable behavior. He doesn’t shit in other peoples yards, he doesn’t bite others, in fact he gets along well with anyone as long as they are nice to him. He is not annoying.  He doesn’t bark uncontrollably.
He was  taught not to jump on people,  he doesn’t beg or bug the shit out of others.
It’s a shame some people don’t teach  their children the same decency.
My dog is a better Christian than she was.

28 responses »

  1. Thanks for the link back! Does the neighbor still allow his dogs to run all over the place like the Bumpus Hounds?

    • You bet, I loved your post! I don’t know, I moved, but I’m pretty sure they’re still kicking, they were smart enough never to get caught or run over. Sons a Bitchin Bumpusses!!!

  2. I like when they knock on my door to pander their religion. I flipped out on them last time. I didn’t have my new iPhone so I was unable to put hat shit on YouTube. I’ve hoped they come knocking again so I can open the door in underwear and explain that I don’t go to their homes telling them what type of porn to watch so they shouldn’t knock on my door either. I think the word got out, though. They leave me alone, sadly.

  3. On one hand, I totally agree this lady was a complete asshat. And if she had a car, I do not see why *you* had to bring the little tikes back home. And spouting christianity is just ignorant and worth all sorts of nasty names.

    On the other hand, I know first hand how dogs can get out of control–we had a fenced yard within ANOTHER fence when I was a kid–and our dog (Oreo) would still get out. In one afternoon she chewed out of the garage door to the fenced yard, dug a six foot hole under the wood fence that was her play area and jumped over the metal fence we had surrounding that. It couldn’t have been three hours. Apparently, dog food in the 80’s was laced with crack. So I have a little more sympathy for dogs getting loose…I bet I’ll write a post about this somehow…

  4. God, this made me laugh. I read it to my husband, and it made him laugh. I read it to my dog, and he didn’t think it was too funny, but he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.

    I would sort of love being that crazy– jumping up and down screaming on a stranger’s doorstep crazy. I could probably get disability for it.

    Glad I made my way here. I’m an official follower now.

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